aching hearts and weighted chests . . .

I think we spend a lot of our energy, both consciously and subconsciously, regulating our surroundings to create the most emotionally favorable environment for ourselves. It's an act of self-preservation. Upon relinquishing that role, we find we'll feel and experience things all too vibrant and intense to handle, whether good or bad. And those kinds of feelings are frightening, and they can be tiring, and invigorating; they can be unknown, uncontrollable and altogether uncomfortable. We fear not being able to survive the pressure that settles down upon our hearts when we entertain dreams and loss. But in trying to do what feels safest, are we cheating ourselves out of what could be? As for me, more and more I hope to experience the fullness of both love and death.